What the Flick

I decided I had to see TROY because I hate to pass up a historical epic that will shed some light on the origins of our own civilization and will perhaps help me better to understand our own place in history. I can't tell you how much I've learned from such fine efforts as SPARTACUS (the Tony Curtis, not the Goran Visnic, version), THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, and more recently PEARL HARBOR. Sadly, TROY shed light on nothing at all, unless you count a strong suggestion that tie-dye originated in the famous walled city of old.

Okay, not really, but you get the idea. How could a movie centered on, led by, and full of Jude Law be so awful? I can only say that it would have been better with no sound, and, in fact, that's not a bad idea for a rental if when it becomes available - sooner rather than later, I'm sure - you need some plasma flat screen wallpaper.

From the first moment I saw a coming attraction a few months back, I had the highest hopes for MR AND MRS SMITH. It would rock. It was going to be awesome. Then I saw it. It didn't. It wasn't. I can only muster 1 thumb up. This makes me sad.

Airport security may be keeping terrorists off planes lately, but 2 new movies suggest that too many people with really overcomplicated and stupid plots to achieve truly banal criminal ends are busy filling those coach seats. Both RED EYE and FLIGHTPLAN feature the most cockamamie set-ups ever cooked up during a weather-related ground hold. Once again I'm struck by the thought that if people put so much thought into, I don't know, curing cancer or increasing fuel efficiency as they do into these dumb-ass movies, the world would be such a better place!

Here are the original reviews of The Bourne Supremacy and The Bourne Identity.

August 2004
Back to Bourne
I figured "A Star is Bourne" was pretty much established in THE BOURNE IDENTITY, where we met amnesiac assassin Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) and went along on the wild ride that wowed us with innovative hit man techniques and Bourne’s hunky romanticism.