George Clooney bored me last night. Yeah, I know. I never thought I'd say those words, but there you have it. Ocean's Thirteen, the third installment of the capers of Danny Ocean (Clooney) and his crew of unlikely cohorts, lacked the lightness...
...of spirit of the previous two, and left a kind of sour aftertaste. Oh, it pains me to say this, but I don't think I'll even watch this installment on a plane with the sound off, that's how lackluster I felt it was.
The story goes something like this: Tiny terror casino bigwig Willy Bank (Al Pacino, orange tan and oddly orange-tinted hair and all) scams the gang's old-time friend Reuben (Eliot Gould, in the Lew Wasserman glasses), which sets a revenge scam in motion to win back Reuben's money and share of the new casino. As in O11 and O12, the technicalities of the caper are Byzantine and not important; but unlike those previous outings, the set-up here feels forced and kind of dull. There are a lot of machines, and some stupid subplot about a strike in a Mexican factory, and Ellen Barkin (who looks fab but should've picked something to wear that had sleeves) is ill-served by her role as Major Domo to Bank, and the subplot featuring her as a "cougar" who pounces on Linus (Matt Damon) is borderline insulting.
Although both Danny and Rusty (Brad Pitt) toss off lines about off-screen loved ones, they have no love interest in the movie, and seem to be going through the motions. We're supposed to think this whole shebang was put together in Reuben's name, but I never got the feeling that any of the guys really cared all that much.
Look, to me it's usually fun to spend 2 hours looking at Clooney, Pitt, and Damon in suits and enjoying the rest of the guys (thus the watching on planes with no sound), but O13 spends too much time not showing them. I mean, the friend I was with got up in the middle to go get a hot dog -- something she'd never have done if the movie were engaging.
Sorry, Danny, I think Ocean's gang may be washed up. If there's going to be a 14, you all need to get back the buoyancy that floated O11 and made it so much fun to watch over and over.